Golden Arches

I spent the majority of October with pretty rough bout of homesickness. It is quite a distinct feeling of heartache and distress, like you are looking for something you've lost, but you can't remember what it is you've lost. The last time I felt this way I was in grade school at a girl scout camp. My homesickness caused me to do something unthinkable...I went to McDonald's. I haven't eaten at McDonald's in at least 3 years. I tend to be fundamentally opposed to everything the company represents from fast eating to biggie sizing to childhood obesity(and adult obesity) to beef industrialization. I also haven't eaten fried foods for two years. But, I ached for something familiar, comfortable...something American. There are many things I missed: television, radio, newspapers, english-speaking people, cookies. I could go on and on. But for some reason when my bus home from work passed the McDonald's, I knew that only one thing was going to make me feel better.

That evening I went to my African Dance class. This is where I show up in a room full of French speaking people and learn traditional african dances from a south african man and women who speak such an interesting version of french, that I'm not sure I could understand it even if I did speak the language. They speak to me in french and I nod and follow along and try to dance a little better so that they don't stop me again to tell me what I'm doing wrong (which I don't understand).

I had told myself that after dance I wouldn't want the McDonald's so badly and would be able to go home and eat a sensible meal. Unfortunately the Mickey D's is on my way home. I got near and I felt the worst dichotomy of yearning and guilt. I wanted McDonald's so bad! But's it's sooo bad for me! And bad for the world! And bad for children! And bad for heart disease! But one smell of the quintessiantal fresh fried salty aroma and I was done.

I literally felt ashamed when I walked in. But oh how juicy the fish fillet looked. It's quite possible that the last time I ordered a fish fillet it came in a box with a plastic toy. I must say, McDonald's is pretty brilliant with their international menus. It was simply one board with 8 sections each with a mouth-watering picture of one of their products and a number. You need to simply grunt and point to get a full meal.

I grunted, pointed, paid my 7.60 CHF (!) and walked away with my fish filet and fries. I hid my face in shame walked out and fretted about running into all seven people I actually know in Geneva and trying to rationalize to them why I was eating at a McDonalds (silly American!).

I got home, laid my bounty out on my Ikea coffee table and admired how after at least 20 years (since the last time I remember eating a fish fillet) they still haven't figured out how to line-up the buns with the fillet with the cheese. Why is it exactly that the cheese is always askew and dripping off the side? Is this a strategic choice? Do they train their mc-droids to do this?

I ate my fries first...I distinctly remember that if you wait too long they taste like cardboard. It was salty indulgence heaven. Then I had my fish fillet. It was just as I remembered it. Every bite took me one step closer to home. It was a like a little magic sandwich with fat-laden buns that made me happy. I ate the whole thing...and most of the fries (yes they still taste like cardboard after the heat has left).

I felt great...for about an hour. And then my stomach reminded me that there's a good reason why I shouldn't eat foods like this. I crawled into bed, curled into a ball...and fell asleep achey...but not with homesickeness.